Going through a divorce is never easy, but things can be made more complicated and challenging when the divorce isn't amicable or the two parties simply can't be civilized with each other throughout the process. If you're going through a divorce, the best thing you can do for yourself is to keep things as civilized and peaceful as possible; by doing so, you'll be able to find inner peace and move forward with your life.
Avoid Vindictive Behavior
In the heat of an argument with your (soon-to-be ex) spouse, it might seem like the greatest idea in the world to smash his or her favorite guitar. And it might even feel good when you do it and immediately after. But keep in mind that vindictive actions aren't going to accomplish anything in the long run. If nothing else, they'll only hurt your case in court.
Know How to Peacefully Communicate
Early on in your divorce proceedings, you'll probably realize what works versus what doesn't work when it comes to communicating with your ex. Be attuned to this and act accordingly. For example, if you find that you always get into a huge argument when you try to speak in person or over the phone, consider making it a point to communicate only via e-mail. Sometimes, being able to read what you say before you send it can help you keep things civilized.
One study showed that the ability to edit what you say through text or email could reduce volatility of conversations as long as the spouses weren't texting/emailing frequently or at late hours. Whatever way you decide to communicate, make sure you leave children and family members out of it. SingleParents.about.com says that communicating with your ex through your children is one of the worst ways you can communicate, and it can cause more problems later on.
Make Children a Priority
If the two of you share children together, agree early on that they are going to remain your number-one priority throughout the entire process. Break the news of the divorce with them together and answer any questions they may have about their living situation or other details. Never talk badly about your ex in front of your children or try to use your children to get information about your ex's life.
Team Up With an Attorney
Perhaps one of the best things you can do to keep things civilized and peaceful during a divorce is to simply pair up with the right family law attorney. By working with somebody who is experienced in the divorce process, you can receive the legal guidance you need to make the right decisions and possibly avoid conflict with your ex in the process. As a result, you can get through your divorce more quickly and painlessly, allowing you to move on with your life and work towards finding happiness.